Guilty Bystander

Life is about relationships, not success.

I despise well-organised, rigid righteous people living by rules. I get a physical allergic reaction towards such people that make sick for days.

“God… I feel like shit. Forgive me”.

Now, that covers it all. Even the  foul language used in the prayer.

I just read this post on my friend’s blog. Death. Thinking about death. Talking about death. Oh, oh, someone said the word death! Why do we feel so uncomfortable talking about death? As if, if we don’t talk, it will never happen?

Death is a life-changing event. You don’t stop living when you die. It’s not that “there is life after death and even though the Bible says it’s good, I’m not sure if I’m going to like it” thing. The soul continues to live. And may I dare to say this: to God, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re dead or alive – the soul lives, and that’s it.

There are two complications, though. One is our friends and family here on earth and their ability to grief. Two, the unknowness about heaven and the paranoia about whether we’re going to get to the right place (heaven, hell, purgatory etc).

The soul continues to live. When we die, the soul just says, “oopsie-daisie, see ya later!” and off it goes into God’s dimension. I wonder if it retains all the memories from Earth (or only the good ones – since there is no pain in heaven?).

Death is a life-changing event. Don’t be scared to death.

Some disjointed thoughts…

I am sentenced to life. To live and multiply. Live and be happy. Live and be sad.

There is only one note available to write a love song with.

I wonder whether it’s a good or a bad thing that it’s hard to express feelings and thoughts with just plain words.

The internet is like thoughts – hard to control.

There are a few lucky people in the world. And most of them are bustards.

I don’t like the Internet.

I want to punch a few people.

Why is polygamy bad?

Anyone?

Democracy is not freedom. Freedom to choose is NOT freedom. The only fact that we have no choice but to make a choice, robs us of true freedom. The freedom of hot having to make a choice.

There was no freedom in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve had to choose whether to eat the apple or not.

When we get to heaven, we’ll be free (I hope). We’ll just be there. Just be. No more choices. Maybe this is something to look forward to too.

Why was Adam and Eve punished when it was God who allowed satan to be in the Garden of Eden? Was God hoping that satan would behave himself and wouldn’t try to do anything nasty? Before eating the apple, Eve didn’t know that she was making a wrong choice. If Adam and Eve didn’t know the right from wrong, how would they know that it was wrong to disobey God? God told them, “don’t eat from that tree“, but they didn’t know that it was wrong to eat from it. God just said “when you eat of it you will surely die”, why didn’t He say instead “if you eat of it you will be cursed forever” or something like that? A death may have been a much better option.

Imagine a remote country, a city, a house that God doesn’t know about. A place where there is no God. A place where God doesn’t hear prayers, a place where God’s help is not available.

Would you like to be there or live there?

Lately I’ve been thinking about somewhat human-centered view of Christianity, and I come more and more to the realisation that we, humans, actually need God. God created us in such a way that we, each one of us, need God.

If you are an atheist, you believe that God doesn’t exist. Or do you? Are there people that 100% sure that there is no God? I’d like to meet them. I’d like to know how they feel when facing death. I’d like to know how they manage not to pray when their life is in danger. Humans are made in such a way, that we want God to be there, just in case. In case everything else fails.

God is like a hospital. We may spend our lives trying to prove that hospitals are useless or they don’t exist. But when the need comes, we all run to one and demand to see a doctor.

We are made in a way, that even though we may not believe that God exists, we still want him to be there, just in case.

Imagine a place where you are 100% certain that there is no God. A place where God doesn’t hear prayers. You’d be too scared to go there. Even if your prayers are never answered in this life, you still like having that prayer option available. Just in case.

Life is like a boxing ring. Thoughts are fists, light and quick. Words are a fight. The ropes around the ring are prayers.

A lot of people are watching the fight. Friends – cheering and supporting. Bystaners, indifferent, betting on a winner. Enemies, wanting you to loose.

There may be a lot of people around, showing their support, but at the end of the day, you’re on your own. You do the fighting, no one can really help you. There maybe a lot of people screaming your name, but you still feel lonely, just about to run out of your last drop of strength. You may hear instructions, do this or do that… Everyone seems to be an expert in boxing.

There are times you start loosing, and even think of giving up. But there are close friends who are willing to bend the rules. They jump into the ring and sometimes take the blows that are aimed at you, just to give you time to recover. They hurt and bleed there with you. They feel awkward, but they stick by your side no matter what. They didn’t call a week ago, to ask if you wouldn’t mind them doing that. At times like that, they don’t care what you say or what others think. They just know that they have to be there for you…

Life is like a boxing ring. Thoughts are fists, light and quick. Words are a fight. The ropes around the ring are prayers. I will fight till the end and the belt will be mine.

Why do people pray or why do we need to pray, if God (who knows everything) already knows what we’re going to pray about? Apart from the obvious and orthodox answer that we need to pray because the Bible tells us so… let me think around a little.

This is a somewhat human-centered view on why I think it helps to pray. Talking. That’s it. Talking helps.

We all know that talking helps to work through life problems and enjoy life’s joys. Often, we actually pay big bucks to go and talk to someone (think: shrink). You often hear “oh… thank you so much! I feel so much better after talking to you!”

So, here it is again. Prayer helps, because we talk (or think).

When we pray we talk to someone from whom we know we can’t hide anything. When we pray, we talk to God, who knows more about us and our problems than we do. When we pray, we can’t lie. When we pray, we are honest to God in our wildest desires, secrets or regrets. When we pray we talk.

Talking, just by itself, helps us to work through things. Talking to someone who understands, to whom we don’t have to explain things (and who doesn’t ask questions and doesn’t interrupt) – helps even more. Talking to someone so powerful like God, leaves us with an off-chance that He my actually hear our prayer and help us (i.e., do what we ask).

It’s often said that we need pray to find out God’s will for our lives. When we pray, we talk. When we talk we work through issues. When we work through issues we see common sense. Common sense is often the right answer. So, God’s will may be just the same thing as common sense.